Ancestry finding that Taylor Swift is related to Emily Dickinson is a slap in the face to Bills Mafia’s Dickinson-portrayer Hailee Steinfeld.
Taylor Swift with Travis Kelce, Hailee Steinfeld with Josh Allen, and Emily Dickinson
If you’re like me, the Monday Ancestry.com announcement that Taylor Swift is distantly related to poet Emily Dickinson had you proclaiming “Oh it’s on!” to the nearest Chiefs fan as the latest fighting words in the festering Bills-Chiefs rivalry. But just in case the connection isn’t immediately apparent, allow me to spell it out.
When the Bills faced off against the Chiefs in the 2023 AFC divisional playoffs for the umpteenth time in their recent rivalry, much was made of the fact that each team boast’s an A-list celebrity in their fan entourage. Perhaps you’ve heard that Taylor Swift is dating Chiefs’ tight end Travis Kelce. Bills quarterback Josh Allen, meanwhile, has his own steamy relationship cooking with actress/singer Hailee Steinfeld.
Now Monday’s DNA results add a new wrinkle to the grudge match. Steinfeld, you see, portrays the legendary poet Emily Dickinson in the Apple TV+ series Dickinson. So the news that the real Emily Dickinson is related to Taylor Swift is a real slap in the face to Josh Allen and Bills Mafia because it’s assumed that if Emily Dickinson were alive today she’d be a part of Chiefs Kingdom by virtue of the Taylor Swift connection.
A spoof of the Swiss Family Robinson movie poster that instead reads “Swift Family Dickinson” with Emily Dickinson, Taylor Swift and Taylor Swift’s parents pictured
Taylor Swift’s bonkers Emily Dickinson ancestry link discovered.
This may be concussion logic, or simply a result of slamming into one too many folding tables in Bills pre-game tailgating, but for those still with me keeping celebrity score, it’s now Chiefs Kingdom with the powerful duo of Taylor Swift and Emily Dickinson, while Bills Mafia can only claim one fake Emily Dickinson.
Speaking to Bills fans everywhere, if we want to even the score, we better have Ancestry.com find a genetic link from Hailee Steinfeld to someone even more impressive than Taylor Swift and Emily Dickinson combined — and fast. Maybe a Beatle? Or Buffalo Bill Cody? Ooh, William Shakespeare would be fire if we can make that happen! Get on it you genealogical mad scientists, the clock is ticking until next NFL season.
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